Can God Be Your Romantic Partner?

In this talk, we discuss a very subtle, high-level and easily misunderstood mode of spiritual practice: madhura bhāva, the practice of seeing God as your lover!

In Vaishnava literature this is considered the highest mood because it contains all the others and is itself the most refined and passionate of the moods. The whole soul goes to God in fiery yearning!

There is actually quite a precedent for this in the Christian tradition. It's called "bridal mysticism." Nuns in the Catholic faith see themselves, in some orders, as "brides of Christ." The whole idea is the transformation of eros!

But this mood isn't just for monks and nuns. Householders can practice it too by seeing their spouse/partners as the embodiment of the Divine and serving them as they would God.

The idea of ”making love to God" is of course very challenging because of narratives of shame and sin around sexuality so the first step in this kind of practice is to recognize the innate innocence of that energy, which is a form of spiritual energy, Kundalini. Then, through loving acceptance, we attempt to "divinize" that energy by directing it towards God in a gradual process of sublimation.

Sri Ramakrishna literally worshipped his wife as the Divine Mother though you might say this came under the category of vātsalya-bhāva since Ramakrishna looked upon all women as his Mother. Note also that they had a completely chaste marriage meaning that’s it's possible to practice this mode even without physical intimacy (There are much deeper and more refined versions of intimacy with a partner than the merely physical, after all!) though it certainly can include it in the case of having a partner.

The best example is of course Rādha and her passionate, all-consuming love for Sri Krishna. Meerabai felt herself to be “married to Krishna” and actually had a ceremony performed. We also find this mood in Shaiva saints like Mahadevi-Akka. Sri Ramakrishna even told M. in the Gospel of Sri Ramakrishna (in the entry on Thursday, August 24th 1882) that through devotion one develops a “love sexual organ” implying that, mystically speaking, it is possible to quite literally make love to God.

While this mood is mostly found in the Vaishnava traditions (as love for Sri Krishna) some versions also exist in the Shaiva world.

After all, many people often ask me about whether it’s okay for them to think of Shiva/Devī as their romantic partner. I hope to address that question tonight!

This is of course a natural continuation of our lectures on “Why is Kali Desirous?” and “What Does Kali Really Want?” and perhaps the subtlest of the series! 

Wish me luck!

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